What you go after eludes you. What you become, you attract.
All that is required...truly required to help another person is love. Simple, clean, humble love. A deep love. An impossible love that can only come from a place in us that was never born and will never die. A love that was once offered to us that has crushed our own heart in its transformative way and that then served as the healing point, the strength we forgot in ourselves...a beacon of trust in us that was shrouded in doubt.
As doulas, mothers, sisters, friends of girls and boys and men and women and humanity, the path to love is prayer. Prayer is an action/inaction of the deepest intent and hope and want and love and care. An impersonal request from your personal divinity which, regardless of your memory of its presence, remains as a wellspring of strength and will never fail you. Your belief in this divinity is what your families rely on their moments of vulnerability They seek your knowledge and memory of this in yourself and also for them. They ask for your reminder to them of this in their birth journey.
Of all the tools you will bring to a birth, bring your Divinity. Bring your heart. Bring your song of prayer. For yourself...to remain humble and open to all who come to receive this new child. For the mother...to remember the things she thinks she has forgotten about herself.
When things get difficult at a birth and you are baffled, say a prayer of help to all the doulas and midwives whose help you need to tap into at those times. The power of prayer connects you to them...heart to heart allowing you access to information and help you didn't know you had!
So in your doula training, in your work,, in your play, while you drive your car, cook your meals...pray. Pray every day with every breath and every desire and every need that you see. Pray from the depths of your deepest deep. Make everything you see and hear and feel and smell a prayer. Walk a prayer with every step you take.
Try to make your prayer a song from the Divine, not your song to the Divine. But don't worry about the song or the sights or the sounds or the desires or the need. Just pray. You see, just the intention of prayer is from divinity. And that makes your heart a receptacle for the answer to come.
In practicing this each moment, you become a walking prayer and then a peacemaker. And then everyone around you begins to respond in peace. And then you become peace. The environment relaxes, people begin to see and believe again. All of a sudden, a baby is born and this child finds itself surrounded by peace.
A peaceful birthing reverberates out to the room and all the people present. It's a memory that is permanently implanted into that child's cells and the Program of Peace is what this child will operate from its whole life. It is stronger than environment or genetics.
It just is peace. And then she/he teaches peace on a cellular level their whole life, just by being peace.
When a baby is born in an environment of peace...when a woman is believed and loved and encouraged during her time of birth, when mom and babe are honored as accomplished journeymen, the result can only be a certain strength and hope that transcends all the doubt and fear that life will present.
July 4, 1982
G, Allison and I drove to Lake Kanasatka in New Hampshire to be with our group of friends last night at their camp on the lake.
Just the smell of this place made me so happy and relaxed. I am really excited for Allison to feel all the good and peaceful things that G and I feel when we come up here.
Woke up this morning on our bed in the living room, rolled over and the sun was rising orange over the sparkling lake. I wanted to show Allison, but she was asleep and when she's asleep, there is no waking her!
An hour later she woke up to a room bathed in sunlight...for the first time in her life!!
We had the best nursing we've EVER had...in the sunlight together. Everything was quiet. Nobody else was awake, the birds were out, a loon was singing on the lake and the lake...it sparkled from the sun and reflected up on the ceiling of the living room where we were nursing quietly together.
After nursing G took her for a walk. I'm sure he is telling Allison all about the mountains and the lake and the nice air and the loons. If not verbally, then in the most important language there is.
I would love for Allison to wake up here every day.
I'm so happy this morning.
I wish I could take a picture of Allison every time I wanted to. When she's nursing or sucking her pacifier she folds her little hands in one way or another and it's so delicate. Whe she's laying on the bed she'll stretch to the full length that her body will allow, with her back arched, belly sticking up and arms outstretched.
Her hads in little tight fists. When she yawns in that position she usually ends up crying out a little because she gets so overwhelmed.
Allison's face is amazing, starting with those 2 huge eyes. So often they're doing nothing but sparkling, but they're so funny when she's mad, also. Her brow furrows, lips purse and her eyes get really cloudy and upset.
It's amazing to get to know this person every moment.
G and I are so blessed.